


John's No Good, Awful, Very Bad Day (Or, How Dorian Conned John Into Letting Him Keep A Puppy)

by theshizniiit



Series: Dorian Ruining John's Life (& Other Stories) [1]
Category: Almost Human
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-16
Updated: 2014-10-16
Packaged: 2018-02-21 11:06:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2466017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theshizniiit/pseuds/theshizniiit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: "Okay but what about a ficlet where Dorian finds a stray puppy and tries to convince John to keep it? Plot twist: he's also on low charge. Lower than before."</p>
            </blockquote>





	John's No Good, Awful, Very Bad Day (Or, How Dorian Conned John Into Letting Him Keep A Puppy)

John's heart sinks and his pulse skyrockets when he hears a gasp behind him. He freezes, and tries not to turn around.

Because turning around and facing the undercharged android and… _whatever_  it is he’s just found is not an experience that John wants to have. He’s been driving John up a wall all day. A Dorian with a 20% charge is a scary Dorian. Not because he was dangerous or anything— _'because Dorian is forever the most gentle thing on the planet fucking earth'_ , John thinks to himself—but because he was highly emotional and asked too many questions and was inclined to start yelling or laughing loudly at the drop of a hat.

Once he just started running. Just got out the car and took off. It was the most confusing moment of John’s life, and that’s coming from a guy who woke up from a coma with his girlfriend missing, his best friend dead and his leg gone.

So he keeps his back turned and his shoulders tense, praying to whatever deity that will hear him that Dorian will not fly off the handle at whatever is going on back there. Maybe John will be able to ignore it. He keeps his eyes on Valerie in front of him, and her eyes widen as she peaks behind John and whispers a smug,”Good luck!” and flounces away, past the crime scene holo tape and over to Richard.

Traitor.

"John! JOHN!", He hears Dorian shout behind him, and he clenches his fists and grits his teeth and reminds himself that he needs to make sure Dorian got a full charge next time because this is ridiculous-

and then Dorian is in his face, eyes wide and a disgruntled looking black puppy in his arms. He looks manic. And serious.

This won’t be good.

"I found this puppy and we need to keep him." Dorian says, a little too loudly, and several officers look up from their work and peer at the duo, some faces lighting up at the sight of the puppy, others looking confused.

"Dorian-"

"Look at this puppy, John-"

"I-"

"LOOK AT HIM."

"Dorian. We can’t keep a puppy okay? We can barely keep ourselves alive and functional," John snaps, "We can’t take care of this thing too!"

Dorian looks like he’s going to argue, but then something worse than anything John thought could ever happen to him ends up happening.

Dorian’s face crumbles and his bottom lip starts shaking and he fucking  _sobs_.

John’s heart nearly stops.

Oh no. 

Oh God,  _no_.

"Nononononononononono," John sputters hands up in surrender, eyes wide and face contorted in terror, "Nonono don’t start crying.  _PLEASE_  don’t start crying. Dorian-please-“

 _'This is ridiculous'_ he thinks. He didn’t even know DRN’s  _could_ cry.

"No, don’t-" John croaks, "Dorian, no-don’t."

He’s not good with crying. He’s  _never_  been good with crying. He will  _never_  be good with crying. He’s never known what to do. Does he pat them on the back? Does he try to find a tissue? What the hell is he suppose to do?

It doesn’t matter , because a DRN is sobbing into a puppy’s fur in front of him and John is about to have a heart attack  _because he doesn’t know what to do_.

John hasn’t panicked this bad since he woke up after the ambush.

Oh god.

Now all the officers are watching and most are giving John dirty looks and shaking their heads and Valerie and Richard are giving him twin  _'What the hell John, what's wrong with you?'_  stares and even the puppy in Dorian’s arms is giving him the  _'you're an awful person'_  look. It isn’t until he hears himself blurt out, “Okay, okay we can keep the puppy! Just-Dorian, please stop crying. Please?” that he hears the panic in his voice.

What happens next is on John’s list of the most fucked up things to ever happen to him.

Dorian looks up, face no longer buried in the puppy’s fur—and there is no sign of the distress that he was going through 2 seconds ago. No sign of crying.

The DRN’s face is blank and his eyes are completely dry— _'dry as the damn desert'_ , John thinks to himself. Dorian smiles and quips a happy, “Thanks John!” and bounces off.

The detective stands there for a few seconds, mouth open and mind crawling through molasses to figure out _what the fuck just happened-_

John just got played.

In front of his coworkers.

And he can’t help but be  _completely impressed._

He’s also _pissed._

Richard and Valerie walk up to him and Richard flashes a smug grin, “You’re so whipped Kennex.”

"Shut up, Richard," he mumbles, "We all know Valerie has your balls on a platter."

"And Dorian has yours."

John sputters and huffs, then storms off to his car where his DRN and his new dog are waiting.

He can hear Valerie laughing behind him.


End file.
